On a more personal note… In 1986, I realized I could pose a question mentally and get an answer mentally. Then, in 1989, a very beneficial relationship with a wise nonphysical being began. Since then, this being, who I came to call Theodore, or Theo, has been my inner teacher, mentor, and healer.

In the 90s, I was a writer, a metaphysical teacher, an astrological counselor, and a serious spiritual seeker. I meditated two or more hours a day and experienced deep peace in meditation, but as soon as that was over, I was back into my egoic self, with all its stories, problems, and issues. I didn’t realize that the experience I had in meditation was an experience of who I am. I thought of it as my “Higher Self”—something out there and not present in my life. It was something “I” was devoted to.

When I met Adyashanti, a teacher in both the Zen and Advaita tradition, in a satsang (which means “a gathering to explore the truth of who we are”) in December of 1998, I received some key understandings. Six weeks later, while asking the classic inquiry question, "Who am I?" I had a spiritual awakening, which I would define as an identity shift from the ego to Essence, or the true self. Following this shift, which took place in a moment and was accompanied by the room filling with golden light, the voice in my head stopped chattering. That quiet state lasted for five days. To my surprise, I was able to functional normally without the egoic mind. Eventually it came back, but not as before, and I was filled with joy and peace for a honeymoon period of about a year.

Two weeks after that, I met Nirmala, who was giving satsang in the Bay Area, where I lived. (The Intelligence that we are has perfect timing!) After a brief stay there, he continued to travel around the U.S., giving satsang. We talked on the phone regularly for almost four months before we saw each other again. Over those months, we fell in love. At the end of 1999, we moved to Arizona together and married.

For five years after awakening, I didn’t speak with Theo because I had no questions and no problems. I had also lost the motivation to teach and write, which was very strange to me. During those years, I was a wife, did some art, and created the book Nothing Personal from transcripts of Nirmala's satsangs. This was a period of dryness in my spiritual life. Although I wasn’t suffering, I also wasn’t in joy. It was an in-between place: I couldn’t go back to being “me” (whoever that was could no longer be found), but I also wasn’t firmly established in Essence. A part of me missed the juicy drama of suffering and having problems (I’m a four on the Enneagram), but I  couldn’t do drama anymore. Eventually, my consciousness deepened and I moved more fully into Essence, as chunks of conditioning fell away slowly, one by one.

One day in 2004, Nirmala, noting my restlessness, suggested I ask if Theo might have a book to write with me. I did this, and Theo agreed, and I wrote the first of my books about awakening: Radical Happiness: A Guide to Awakening. My books are the result of a collaboration between the wisdom of this teacher and my knowledge, training, understanding, and experiencee. In 2005, I began sharing Theo with others to assist in their healing and awakening. It’s been a long journey, but I see now that this is the work I came here to do, and nothing is more fulfilling to me than doing it.

Nirmala and I live in Sedona, Arizona now, where we offer weekend intensives. My books include Loving in the Moment, Embracing the Now, Radical Happiness, Anatomy of Desire, Living in the Now, Return to Essence, What About Now? and Getting Free. Nirmala is a spiritual teacher in the Advaita tradition, and his website is endless-satsang.com, where you can download his free spiritual e-books and watch satsang videos and listen to audio recordings of him. He is also available for spiritual mentoring over the phone.

Watch a 5-minute video interview of Nirmala speaking about Awareness (works best in Internet Explorer)