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Healing Emotional Complexes
From Getting
Free: How to Move Beyond Conditioning and Be Happy by
Gina Lake
Behind
every emotional complex lie a number of mistaken beliefs, which need to
be erased or reprogrammed. This is done by first getting in touch with
the mistaken beliefs and then replacing them with a truer perspective.
Once the falseness of these beliefs is seen and they are replaced with
new beliefs, the emotional energy that they generated, which also held
them in place, dissipates. Then new behaviors become established based
on these new beliefs, and the healing is complete.
These complexes are what get triggered by other people’s
conditioning. Conditioning triggers conditioning, and that’s
how
everyone’s conditioning gets healed. When an issue is
triggered,
it usually causes an automatic emotional response. Any number of
negative emotions gets triggered and usually more than one, which is
why it is called a complex. It is made up of many hidden beliefs that
trigger a variety of emotions. Unless these beliefs are investigated,
the usual circumstances will continue to trigger the conditioning.
Furthermore, the more this complex is triggered, the more entrenched
and automatic the emotional responses become. The responses become
habitual, and habits aren’t so easy to break. To break this
cycle
takes a conscious choice and willingness to investigate the ideas
behind the feelings.
To do this, it is necessary to allow the feelings to be there without
responding to them in the usual ways. These feelings are the trail that
leads you to the goldmine of understanding. They contain the answers
you are looking for, which will free you from your conditioning, but
acting out your feelings will take you away from that goal. So, you sit
with these feelings and wait for them to reveal the mistaken beliefs
that are the cause of your unhappiness and your so-called problems.
These beliefs are things like “Life should be
different,”
“Life is unfair,” “I will never be
loved,” and
“I’m flawed and will never be happy.”
Beliefs like these are sad and inaccurate conclusions your ego came to
when it faced disappointment, disillusionment, and pain. They are a
story the ego told about an event, and it became attached to that story
and created an identity around of it. It concluded something that
wasn’t true, but it believed its conclusion. To admit that
its
story isn’t true is very difficult for the ego. It is very
attached to its point of view and doesn’t want it questioned
or
examined. The ego will come up with all sorts of reasons why you
shouldn’t bother to investigate your feelings and your
beliefs.
The ego will try to talk you out of doing this because it
doesn’t
want you to see the truth because if you do, you won’t need
the
ego and the identities it gives you.
Once these beliefs are seen as false, they stop driving your behavior,
and then more positive beliefs can begin to drive your behavior. Some
literally disappear, never to appear again. Others remain but are a
mere shadow of their former self, without the ability to convince you.
Eventually, they too will disappear if you don’t decide to
resurrect them. What allows you to see these beliefs is an attitude of
curiosity, gentleness, and acceptance. In just being with the emotions
that are tied to them, they reveal themselves quietly, intuitively one
by one.
Being with an emotion is an act of not doing: You don’t think
about the emotion and you don’t act on it. You just wait,
listen,
and receive. You are very present to it, as if that is all that exists
in the world. You give your full attention to it, without an agenda and
without straining or trying. You bring gentleness, curiosity, and
acceptance to it, which allows the beliefs to be revealed. What you are
looking for is not so much a thought but a knowing—an insight
that pops into your awareness, which may have an image or a sensation
attached to it. Intuitions often come in the form of images or
sensations, which deliver a sense of knowing, which you then translate
into words. The longer you sit with an emotion, the more beliefs are
likely to be revealed because the beliefs are linked together, just as
the emotions are.
Insight into an issue is really just the beginning of healing, although
a very important first step. The healing happens as new beliefs and
behaviors replace the old ones. Once the old beliefs are seen through,
then new beliefs become the basis for behavior. Once you have uncovered
the beliefs, or conclusions, that underlie the feelings that get
triggered, you ask for healing from beings of light for these beliefs,
which will come in the form of love energy and further insight and
guidance about this issue. This complex will continue to unravel over
time as you continue to see the truth about it and replace your old
behaviors with new ones. This is not instantaneous but a process that
can take quite a while to finally be healed, even with the help of
beings of light.
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