How to make yourself miserable:

•    Think about all the things other people have that you don't have (e.g., a relationship, a nice home, a new car, a great job, children, a thin body, perfect health, lots of money, success, popularity, beauty, fun, sex) and imagine how happy they are and how happy you would be if you had what they have. Daydream about what your life should look like.

•    Keep a running mental list of your "problems," shortcomings, and how you and your life don't measure up and what you should do about it. Then make this the central topic of your conversation with others.

•    Think about what happened in the past that made you upset--and talk about it.

•    Go over past conversations you've had and draw conclusions about how that person or persons see you or you see them.

•    Think about everything you have to do.

•    Have an opinion about everything.

•    Notice what you don't like.

•    Think about other people and talk about them.

•    Think about yourself and how your life is going.

•    Think of all the things that could go wrong and all the terrible things that have happened to other people.

•    Spend a lot of time looking at yourself in the mirror.

•    Set goals for yourself and your life and wait until you achieve them to be happy.

•    Be too busy to let yourself rest, play, do something you enjoy, or do nothing, except maybe watch TV.

Can you find other things to add to this list? How do you make yourself miserable?
How can we make ourselves happy? Don't do the things on the above list. Happiness is our natural state, and when we stop doing what makes us unhappy, we are naturally happy!

From Embracing the Now: Finding Peace and Happiness in What Is by Gina Lake. Read more excerpts and find out more about this book.