You may have noticed that I’m big on suggesting that people ignore thoughts and feelings whenever possible. I’ve been asked how this is different from repression, which is considered to be an unhealthy way of dealing with feelings. That is certainly true about repression. The biggest difference between repressing and ignoring is this: When you repress a feeling, you are still believing the thoughts that gave rise to the feeling. This will only cause the feeling to go underground, only to rise again some other time, perhaps with greater strength, or at least with no less strength.

Ignoring, on the other hand, involves recognizing a thought or feeling as soon as it arises for what it is—a product of the egoic mind that has no truth or value in terms of how to live your life—and then turning your attention to what is real and true in the moment. What is real and true is whatever is actually happening, including any intuitions or insights that might be arising from Essence, and also anything being experienced through your senses.

Thoughts and feelings take us away from reality, not closer to it. They are part of the ego’s, or false self’s, made-up world. Once we realize that thoughts and feelings are a detriment to functioning rather than facilitate life, then they lose their power to cause us to suffer or respond in ways that cause pain to ourselves and others. And once we stop believing them, they stop showing up. This process of detaching from thoughts and feelings, which really just entails noticing them without believing them or responding to them, is how old wounds and the thoughts underlying them are healed. Repressing or acting out negative feelings, on the other hand, reinforces feelings and the beliefs underlying them and keeps them in place. When we repress or act out our feelings (i.e., identify with them), the feelings do not evolve, or heal, and we do not evolve beyond them.

We master and heal feelings by becoming aware of them (i.e., noticing them), accepting them as part of our human conditioning and the egoic structure, choosing to not agree with or believe the thoughts behind them, and moving our attention onto something in the moment that is true: What is the experience of the moment without these thoughts and feelings? That is reality; that is the truth.

Feelings don’t have to be a problem. We give them power by believing them and by seeing them as a problem that we have to do something about. When feelings are believed and experienced as a problem, we argue with them, try to get rid of them, hide them, feel bad about ourselves for having them, dump them on others, or act them out in damaging ways. Instead, if we can just let feelings be there and relate to them with compassion, acceptance, and curiosity, they have a chance to be healed. Eventually, they will no longer show up. This gentle relationship with feelings allows us to discover the untrue beliefs that underlie them, and once we see that our feelings are founded on untruths, they become easy to ignore.

Not all thoughts or feelings can be ignored without doing some inquiry into the beliefs underlying them. So, ignore the thoughts and feelings that you can ignore, because you recognize their untruth, and investigate with gentle curiosity the thoughts and feelings that are difficult to ignore. Bringing curiosity to the “stickiest” thoughts and feelings will eventually free you from even those and make it easy to ignore them if they do come up. The more you apply these instructions, the less compelling your thoughts and feelings will be, and the freer you will be to just be in this moment, which is real and juicy, without problem, and has everything you’ve ever wanted.